Coaching, Curiosity, and People Watching with Candy Motzek

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Welcome to curiously wise. I'm so happy to have you here today. And to have our guests here with us, Candy Motzek, who I've met recently. And we've just been having fun, getting to know each other. So, I know that she's going to be very interesting to you.

She has a podcast. I love the title of your podcast it's called She Coaches Coaches. That tells you a little bit about what she does. So, I'm going to have Candy, if you would just tell us something about yourself and we'll go from there.

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It was encouraging people to be more of who they were. And so that really got my curiosity up and then life changed. I decided it was time for something new. And so I started my coach training and that's been a few years ago now. So I've been coaching for years. I love it. It's funny to have a career that you actually love, like just unabashedly love doing it.

I started coaching coaches a few years ago and they are some of the most interesting people they're giving and kind and heart-centered and they want to make a positive change in the world. And I just can't think of more interesting people to be coaching.

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And so I'm curious about how, how you see the wisdom coming out of those. And do you know what immediately or hindsight, or how does that work for you?

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And then also combining that with the mistake is only just the thing that happens in this world. It's not really a reflection of who I am at my core. And so it's just remembering that as well really helps me.

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That perspective of hindsight is amazing.

Here's the other one that really jumped out at me. My dad and I used to people watch together. It was a favorite game of ours. And I saw that, you mentioned that often coaches will be just sitting there, people watching. So what is it that you learn or what is it that you enjoy about that?

Because it's one of my favorite things to do.

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I think that I'm just always. I'm just always interested in them. I kind of wonder what their story is, what their life is like, what they're doing, how come they're here, like in this, you know, maybe I'm sitting somewhere and I'm watching them like, what are, where are they at in their life that they're here in this moment at the same time that I'm here as well?

I think it's just more curiosity and I’m just fascinated with people.

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And I certainly find it helpful when I started writing novels. I've never heard anybody else say they love to people watch. So that's why it really jumped out at me. And it's yeah. I mean, that's what I do. I sit in a airport and I'm watching the families and watching the kids and yet it's great.

I highly recommend it.

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And I find that I really like good at noticing the fine detail. Like if something, if they're a little bit uncomfortable, they do this thing with their hair or they hold this necklace or they do something a little bit, just slightly different with their shoulder. And so just that really watching them. I hope helps me just be that much more compassionate about holding the space for them when they're in a place of discomfort.

And then also sometimes coaches ask these questions that make you uncomfortable. And if we can just kind of laugh a little bit about it, it just makes it easier. It doesn't mean the question doesn't need to be addressed. It just means that it's not life or death.

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I'm the kid that the other kids used to come and talk to

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And so. I kind of felt like, you know, Lucy from the peanuts cartoon where you said like, kinda like that,

I would just sit there, be minding my own business. And all of a sudden people would show up and say, can I talk to you about something? And I like the connection. I like that. Just this, the one-on-one of being there for somebody or to support them or to celebrate with them. It just warms my heart. And so, yeah, I think that's why kind of always being there.

And then, then you do the training, you know, now there's training to be a coach. You just don't have to be like Lucy, you know,

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What are other people gonna say? What did they think of me? Can I do this? Self-doubt. Lack of confidence. I don't know what to decide. Lack of clarity. It's all that stuff. That is the real you know, that's the real heart of the coaching is to help people know, that if they want to do something that they can do it and just to guide them, guide them through that.

So it's all one-on-one right now, eventually I'm launching a group, but not quite yet. but even with the group, the few groups that I do facilitate there's a singular time with a conversation with one person and then another conversation with another person.

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And they've maybe been listening to my podcast or they've watched something that's on social and there'll be like, no, no, I have to work with you. I heard your voice. And you're the person that I need to work with. And I'm like, okay, well, let's talk and we'll see. So there's the overt marketing message.

And then there's what I think really happens is that when you show up in the world aligned with who you really are and in service that the people will find you. And I know that sounds a little field of dreams, ish, but there's, you know, there are some people that I'm not the right person for, and they're not going to be interested in talking to me.

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And I get I kind of think of it as being like a magnet. They get kind of magnetizing pull each other together, you know,

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So I want to ask you about there's this concept of, of having a niche I know that healers, we all sort of have our own little niche of how we do things, but in the coaching world, do you find that that niche is important or is there something else that is more important?

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And so that's where I remind people that they have a super power and their superpower, their strength is so innate to them that it's easy. Like they don't think it's an anything. But the other people are like, oh, I really, really, really want some of that. Like a little for instances, one of my superpowers is calm, to feel calm.

And so a lot of people will come into my space and we're coaching on some topic and they'll say, you know, no matter what, I just know that after we're done, I'm going to feel so calm after I talked to you. For me, it's like, huh? really? And that's the, that's the thing is that for healers or for coaches or for anybody you've got that super power and you've just forgotten about it.

So you don't have to go and make a decision. You just have to remember and it's already there.

So that would be, that would be the place. And that's the niche is who you are.

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I was guiding it, I was offering the topic, but they would say things that I just blew me out of the water. And they're like, what I like that was so wise, they just don't understand it. So yeah, it's a finding that. Thing your super power. I think you really need somebody outside you to notice it for you, because like you said, we don't, we don't understand it about ourselves.

We don't know we're wise. We don't understand what our superpower is and other people will tell you if you give them half a chance. That's my experience.

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Absolutely. No idea. What kind of an impact you really have on people.

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Can you explain to me how I am different from the other healers that you know, and see, and she was, she was able to, and I was blown away. It was like, really? That's not normal. for the listeners out there, I want to suggest that you try this. You, you take Candy's suggestion and just ask people what impact you have on them.

What's your super power. I bet You're going to learn a lot about yourself. And probably be able to bring more of whatever that wonderfulness is of yourself out into the world and your wisdom. I go around these days asking people what, what's your favorite nugget of wisdom to share?

And they'll go, oh, I don't have any. And then they'll start telling a story. And there it is.

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So my very first one is, Who is or was the wisest person in your life? don't you

don't have to think about it too hard. Whoever comes to your mind first

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So, yeah.

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It's

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So I stand there and I sip my coffee and I'm just there. And then I go into my she shed to do my morning meditation.

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Trees are magical. I love them. All right. So what lights you up when you're feeling down.

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From my heart to yours I wish for you, creativity, joy, peace, and a lot of curiosity.

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www.Heartlightjoy.com. I'm Laurin Wittig. Please join me again next week for another episode of Curiously Wise. From my heart to yours, may your life be filled with love, light, joy, and of course, curiosity.