Episode 40
Freedom Mentor: Creating The Life You Dream Of
Freedom Mentor: Creating The Life You Dream Of with Jackie Cote
In this episode we get curious about:
- Bad circumstances may turn out to be a gift
- Owning your gift
- Learn how to be
- Vision yourself of who do you want to become
- Let the easy be easy
- Trust and surrender
To learn more about our guest:
Website: https://www.jackiecotecoaching.com
FB: https://www.facebook.com/jackie.j.cote
IG: FREEDOM Creator and DESTINY Maker Mentor (@jackiecotecoaching) • Instagram photos and videos
Linked In profile- https://www.linkedin.com/in/jackie-cote-59a404190/
Freebie/Offer: Freebie Video training- https://bit.ly/intentionswithcoachjackie comes with this link to a Free 30 minute one on one connect call: http://bit.ly/connectwithcoachjackie
Credits
Photography & Design: https://ashamclaughlin.wixsite.com/tejart
Music: Where the Light Is by Lemon Music Studio
Producer: Arlene Membrot
Audio Engineer: Sam Wittig
To learn more about Laurin Wittig and her work: https://HeartLightJoy.com
Copyright 2024 Laurin Wittig
Transcript Here
Transcript
I'm looking forward to this conversation just cuz I love a good, deep, juicy conversation. And I know we're gonna have one of those, but let me just read you her bio first. Jackie Cote is a freedom mentor, a speaker, an RV Adventurist who helps hyper driven successful people who already have money and success but don't have a life they love.
After working with Jackie, they learn how to awaken, empower, and own the powerful leader within so they can create the life they truly desire of freedom, adventure, and love, and fit the money and success into that life.
I love that. Jackie is a Jersey girl at heart and comes with 30 years of leadership management experience in the restaurant industry and has helped over 300 people move to higher levels in their career and life.
Jackie took the leap into entrepreneurship by creating a fully virtual coaching business and is now living out her dream of freedom and adventure by traveling the country in an RV with her man and two pups, meeting virtual friends, and changing lives on her terms. That sounds like a fabulous life.
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:But I, I, I went, walked into this bakery and within like a month they were like, all right, here's the keys. You're gonna run the joint. And so, from that point on, like I realized that one of my gifts was leadership, was leading others, getting camaraderie, getting people to like, you know, go together and on a mission.
And, but I didn't know that at 15, and it was illegal at 15 to give me the keys, but it was a whole lot of fun. I look back and now I'm like, wow. $3 under the table, 15. Hmm. But it was a mom and pop, you know,
[: [:God teaching was in a year of teaching. God bless the teachers, but it wasn't for me like I was, I was out. And so, I ended up traveling and so you can see like interweaved into my entire 30 years of the restaurant business. I always tried to find a way to be freer in my being freer in the choices of time, location, you know, all that stuff.
And so, the restaurant business snagged me up at that point. And I went through, I traveled the country through the restaurant business. It helped me go to Arizona for a couple years, went to California a couple years, they transferred me back to East Coast. And the whole time I was in a leadership role just managing and helping people with that gift of belief, you know, that we talked about holding that gift of belief for them, helping them get to where they wanted to go and next levels.
And so that's really what I've taken into this business. And it was funny when I started my coaching schooling, my life and health coaching schooling to get my certification. I, so I said, oh, I'm new at this. And one of my friends whipped her head around and was like, no, you're not. You've been doing this since you were 15.
So, I really have been like a coach at heart. And they used to call me coach at all my jobs, like, coach, what's the next plan? Okay, what are we doing for the shift? And so that's why like I sign off Coach Jackie all the time because really, like I've been called at, I was a manager in the dining hall in college.
I was, you know, shift supervisors, assistant managers, general managers, district managers, kitchen manager, you name it, I did it. But it was always because I loved the aspect of like really like seeing something in someone that they didn't see in themselves, holding that gift of belief up until they got there.
And of course, when they got there, I was always like, okay, we're gonna raise it further.
[: [: [: [:But I gotta tell you, as you know, cocktail waitress, you worked long hours, you worked nights, you worked weekends, right? And that's something that I got asked so many times over the 30 years, like, why do you still do it? Like you work so many hours? And I was like, because there's just something that I love about what I was capable of using my skills and my gifts in doing in that industry.
And 300 plus people later promoting to newer levels and, and doing all that really kept me like driven to do that. And that. Until, until, and how do I get to where I am today? I actually, the last two years of that career, I was like, I'm gonna take a challenge. And I pulled myself out of operations and put myself into a corporate office.
[: [: [: [: [: [:Like I was like trying to fit like a circle into a square and, and I was just, there was parts that I liked, but I was, it wasn't for me. And I truly believe that the universe and God put that in my place so that once I got fired from the job, because the one, they were merging with another company, didn't have enough spots, and I was one of the ones who wasn't meeting their expectations.
Well, thank God I wasn't, because I would've never left the industry.
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:I just take that same concept with adults now and I always did throughout my whole career. I just, I love the, inspiring people to do more than they ever thought they could do.
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:I think. Some of it is past life stuff too, cuz we do bring in some of those traumas with us. I know that I did and when you've been a healer through many lifetimes, many of those didn't end so well. So, I know that there was some of that that I brought with me this time to clear out, to work out so that I could stand in my power.
[:Right. and I now, I'm like, when you talk about past lives, all I wanna do now is talk to you about like, oh, I was like a military guy, and I was this, and I'm like, I get all excited and giddy.
[: [: [:I knew this almost my whole life, that I wanted to do something in the, in the health field, you know? But I, med school, I thought twice about going to med school. I couldn't handle the science. It's not my thing. I thought about becoming an acupuncturist at one point, decided that wasn't my thing. I went to public health school.
That wasn't my thing. I finally figured out my thing is that I'm an intuitive energy healer. It's like, oh! And if I look back at the past lives that I've learned about over the last 10 years or so, there's, that's, that's what I was doing in those lives is that I was being some sort of healer, shaman, whatever.
And yes, it's fascinating. I, we could talk about this.
[: [: [:And then just gradually over time, the coach I worked with was like, taught me tapping, taught me and then she bought me my Kasha reading and then like, so she, like, she wasn't like, let me throw it down your throat. She'd like when there was a need and she felt like something, she would be like, are you open to trying something new?
Of course, I am. Now, I was that standard person that like, oh, would do meditation. I'm like, I can't sit still. I can't do it for 30 minutes. I can't focus, I can't visualize, like I'd get frustrated cause I wasn't doing it right. Right? And so, I challenged myself with her, with her mentorship to do like a straight 40 day.
It was like with Deepak Chopra and Oprah. But I love saying that together. And I did that and, and after doing that, it was just, it's just like a muscle, like any, anything that you build, it's like the practice of it. I was like, ah, now I get it. Like, now…
[: [:I'm like, one day I'm gonna journal. One day I'm gonna do this. One day I'm gonna do that one. I'm gonna, and I, of course, again, in the beginning thought I was doing it wrong. But then finally like I, she gave me the grace of like, you might be that person who needs variety and that's okay. She's like, as long as you're spending time with you.
And that was the biggest thing is learning. One of the biggest shifts for me was learning how to be, cause I just came from a career where I worked 50, 60, 70 hours a week. I was on the go constantly, especially the last two years I was traveling. And then I come into this, I took six months off after I got fired.
And I was like, I've never taken any time off more than a week and I wanna experience some time off. And I took six months off and I traveled like seven different places with friends, even if there were short weekends or a week. So, I tasted what freedom, time freedom was like. I was like never going back.
So that like, that solidified, I'm never going back and getting a job that like stamped that. But then during that time I was like, all right, let's go all in. And I hired a coach cause I was like, I need to start making money somehow. But if I'm not gonna get a job, I need to create this business.
When I hired her, like I thought like, okay, we're gonna build a business.
Well, like that first six months, I cried more than I've ever cried in 40 years. I cracked open like a walnut. She cracked me open like a walnut. Not meaning purposely, but that's what happens when you don't want to deal with yourself. I realized for 40 years I never knew how to be, I was always the do, have, or do have, do have.
And I never what do I wanna be with me for? Like, like what do I wanna do with my emotions and feelings? Yeah. Nobody teaches us how to do that either. No, no. Especially when you grow up. Mom passed away when I was five and I grew up with my dad and four brothers. And my sister was older and already out of the house. And so, it's like I had, I only had the masculine, my dad had a construction company on top of it, so, you know, so it was very so, so feelings.
What are those? I mean, come on Laurin. Like what are hmm. No, and I, I dunno if I I dunno if you know the story that, like those feelings. I pushed down through binging and purging for 30 years and no one ever knew, no one in my life, like the person I was married to, my best friends of 20 years, like all of it, no one knew, but it was my way of learning how to stay safe.
[: [:Well then, I was like, I had these emotions, you know, you hit 11,12, like I had these emotions and feelings, right? And nobody around to help, you know? So, I was like, okay, how do I deal with this? So, I can't be angry, I can't bother anybody. I can't show anger, this and that. So, the bulimia was a way of me releasing all of those like sad, angry emotions.
And it was, you know, it, it was, it was my way. And I don't call myself a bulimic because I believe it was just my safety mechanism to protect me for all those years until I learned how to feel. And thank God for this business, for me running across this business. Cause it taught me how to feel and love myself while I'm feeling.
[: [: [: [: [:If you're crying from joy, it's a completely different chemical makeup of those tears. They are physically moving the energy through you in different ways with our hormones and chemicals, you know, being the, the…
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:And I like to tell people, look, we're gonna figure out what this is. It's maybe something you really haven't wanted to approach or, or look at, but you get to keep the wisdom and we're gonna get rid of the pain now.
[: [: [: [: [:And everything's happening for us. And there was times where I kept wanting to reach out and like bring in more to like gain my value or bake like, like find it externally. And when I finally realized that, wow, it's all inside of me. I don't need to look externally for anything. It's inside of me and my higher power and our connection, and boom, I got everything I need.
That was the owning part of the three pillars I talk about, of the awakening, of powering and owning. When I finally realized like, oh, I own my own magic.
[:We're supposed to be logical beings. You know, we're not supposed to do that.
[: [: [: [: [:What do you wanna hear, see, touch, taste, think, I mean, all of that. Like get all into the senses and the emotions and, and then who do you wanna become?
[: [: [: [:My saying is I wanna do what I want when I want, whenever I want, without having to ask for permission from anybody, including myself. Cuz I was the one who always stopped myself from doing things right. Can't afford that, can't fit, that, can't do that yada yada. And so, in the beginning the visioning is, you have to break through a lot of the things that you held yourself from wishing that you could have because it didn't seem so possible.
[: [: [: [: [:She was one of the ones that said, you know, you're keeping it from the world. That's not fair. You know, and so she kind of pushed me out of the nest and I really had to borrow her belief. Cause I was likes, right.
[: [: [:You know, for you right when it's meant to be. So, I'm interviewing for jobs and I'm like, I, I'm getting them in the restaurant business. It's really easy to go get another job cuz like, you're like a piece of meat cuz like, oh, you got experience, come on in.
[: [:It was another restaurant chain that was expanding and they were like, ooh, you have everything. So let me get you interviewed with the big guy, Cause I did restaurant openings for many of the companies. And so, he gets on the phone and says guy Mike, ironically, there's so many Mikes in my life.
My boyfriend's name is Mike and he is, he used to work with me at Potbelly, which is another chain I worked for. And he was like, I know you, we don't need to interview. He is like, I'd hire you in a heartbeat. He loved me when we worked together at that company, so we didn't have to go through the interview.
He's like, but I got a question for you. How's life been going and what have you been doing? And I was like, oh, you know, so I was like telling him how I just had this two month. I was only two months into my coaching with life coaching, learning about life coaching and health coaching and stuff. And I was like, oh, but I see that I could do this and this.
And he's like, awesome. He is like, how much money do you have? I was like, why are you asking me about my finances? He's like, I wanna know how much money you have to live on. And I was like, what? And I, and I, I didn't get it at first, so I was like, well, I'm selling my house. I'm cutting my expenses. I was telling him how that I was working towards just a life change.
And he's like, great. He's like, you tried that for a year, and if it doesn't work out, come back and I'll give you the job. He goes, right now I'm not gonna give you the job. And I was like, what? Like, what do you mean you're not giving me the job? You love me. He's like, because I'd rather, he goes, if I was in your position, I would do what you wanna do in a heartbeat.
Like I would ex, I would just go do my own thing, have my own business. He's like, he was in a mindset of like, I've got family commitments. I can't just jump. He was the main breadwinner, you know? And he's like, but man, if I was in your position, he's like, so you have a guaranteed job with me. He goes, but not right now.
[: [:He just gave me the permission. So, from that point on, I was like, I'm in. And I know, I knew I had this like, safety net. Like I, I could get a job in a year from now if it doesn't work out.
[: [: [: [: [: [: [:Parents, I know, you know, having been a parent well, I'm still a parent, but they're grown people now. But that, you know, you get lost in the, the minutia of making lunches and getting 'em off to the school and, and did you do your homework? And grandparent can come in and go, honey, oh, this is so exciting.
I'm so glad you're doing this. You know, I, I think that you would be really good at that. You go try that, you know, it's like, so I think grandparents are, and grandmothers in particular, I tend towards grandmothers, but that there, there is something we really need more of. And I think that the work you do than the work I do, in a way kind of fills that gap for adults. You know?
[: [: [: [: [: [: [:So anyway, I they, one day they were like, you are always like one, you care about everybody, but two, you help see things that people don't see. And like you read, like I read labels really well on Round the Jar. Like we're all stuck in this jar and I hope read the label. And they're, they related it to that.
And I was like, okay, I'll take that nickname. At first, I was like, what are you trying to say? First of all, I'm the youngest. I'm the youngest looking here. I'm like, but whatcha you trying to say? Then I got it. They're like, you care from a place like a grandmother would and you, but you don't over helicopter people either. And I was like, oh, good point.
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:And so, I had two choices. I could wait through Covid and not do anything, or I could figure out another way I can pivot and figure out another way to travel. And that's when we started watching RV America, which is a series, don't watch it if you don't wanna buy an RV. So, like, we're like, oh, that one would be good.
That would be good. And then we went to like the first show that opened up publicly and we're like, oh, we're walking through 'em. And then we just decided a year before we went full-time, we bought the unit. And here's, and the ironic, the funny part is when we bought the unit, I was like, I don't have the money to buy the truck yet.
Like, we're not ready for that. Well, in the, when we were buying the the RV, the guy's like, well, what kind of truck do you need? And I was like, well, we need a truck to pull this thing. It's 44 feet. It's like 20 packed. It'll be like 20,000 pounds, right? And he's like, well, someone just turned in a fifth wheel already.
Set up truck, a truck set up for a fifth wheel around the corner for sale. He just turned it in like an hour ago and I was like, it's black, it's this. It had like all the descriptions. We were like, oh my gosh. So, we go around the corner, we go around the corner, and then the guy's pulling it up on like the display like section of the grass and stuff.
And I was like, all right, we wanna take it for a drive. He goes, I just put it here. And I'm like, let's take it for a drive. It was $25,000 less than what I've been seeing online. It only had 17,000 miles. And I got a text message from somebody in the same moment saying, I wanna be your client. And the payment was the same exact amount of money. I was like, all right, we're buy the truck. it was like, it was like, okay, we gotta try. And…
[: [: [: [: [: [: [:We had been vacationing here for a few years with the kids, you know, bush gardens and stuff. And we took a weekend. My parents happened to be around. They could keep the kids. He and I came down. I had found the neighborhood we are now in online, but we didn't think it was one that we could afford. So, we were looking at other ones, and then we were in one that's right next door to this.
I mean, it's like on the same street, you know? And I went, oh, that's the one I saw online. Let's go take a look. We're here. Why not? When we left, we had been taken around by a salesman. We had talked to him, we'd picked up a lot. We did say we wanna think about it for, for a week. You know, just to give us, cuz everything, I mean this was like within days of deciding we, maybe we should move to Williamsburg.
We came back the next, I think like the next week and went to visit the schools. Cuz that was my other priority is we had to have good schools, great schools here and public schools even. You know, it's like…
[: [:So, it was more quickly done. We, our house in Maryland sold before we put it on the market. Before we were ready, you know, it was like we found an apartment, you know, in, in Silver Spring where we could live for six months to let the kids finish out school. Cuz this is Christmas time that our, our household, we found a townhouse exactly when we needed it for exactly length of time we needed it in this neighborhood so they could start school in the new schools.
And then our house was, I mean, it was just, everything fell right into place. It was crazy. And over about 14 months, this whole thing unwound and I look back and go, clearly this is where we're supposed to be, you know,
[: [: [: [: [:Like let it, like let yourself receive the easy and that was hard for me. But let the easy be easy. And that was a hard one for me cause I always felt like everything had to be a struggle. Like I, I worked very hard.
My dad ran a construction company and ran a business and raised six kids. And it was, it was hard. And I was always, I always thought like there was, there's a struggle. There's always gonna be a struggle. Well, I'm here to tell myself and everybody, the struggle's not real. That's saying that the struggle's real.
The struggle is not real. Doesn't have to be unless we decided to be, and to listen and trust when you feel the easy happening
[: [:Because it's like, you know, it's such a small space and there's two of us. And I said, listen, I said, I've owned four houses in my past. All of them I sold within two years, which you're not supposed to do when you own property and. I should have, like I could have if I had just been open and aware that that wasn't my lifestyle, that I wasn't meant, this is easy for me.
Like we love it. I don't have, like, I feel, we feel I've slept better in this camper than I've slept in any house I've ever lived in. And that's just because that's what's meant for me. And so, I can feel the easy and I'm accepting it and receiving it, which was receiving was one of the hardest things for me. I dunno about you.
[:So, working three days a week wasn't that big a change because when he was home, he was home, he worked in the house, you know, he was here when they got home from school, you know, that kind of thing. So it was, we had a whole lot of reasons for doing it. They were all good reasons and they were, and they were the correct reasons apparently.
And but I, I was very concerned that it was gonna change everything. And that might not be good.
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:The strategy was very minimal. I had enough strategy already. I just wasn't doing it here. So, six months into working with her, I was like, I'm doing all the things. My schedule's packed. I'm seeing all the people, I'm having great discovery calls, and I'm making no money. And I was like, what's going on? So, we assessed the actual things and then, so she was like, okay, first of all your schedule's packed out, so let, so let me challenge you to do something.
She's like, September, this was September. She goes, I'm sorry, this was September. Yeah, October. You're gonna do nothing. I was like, what do you mean do nothing? She's like, you're not gonna add anything else to your schedule. You're just gonna trust that what you have on the schedule is enough and then you're gonna, anyone who wants to, you're gonna push it further out into January.
a month and I, I boosted the:And I made more. I was like, but now I don't know what to do with all my time. She's like, well, we're gonna do it again in November. She's like, now you're gonna have more time on your hands. And I'm like, well, what do I do with all this time? She's like, you're gonna have to go for a walk. You're gonna take a bath, you're gonna talk to a friend, you're gonna play with your dogs, you're gonna do whatever has nothing to do with doing.
And I was like, oh. So, I was being more, right? She's teaching me how to be. And then of course I took, I went from 35 to like 55 and I was like, oh, okay. Twice a charm. Let's see if three third times a charm did it again in November, my schedule was getting smaller and s smaller, and I think I only worked like, like 10, 15 days or something in that December.
And I actually had like holidays with family and I did all the things that you never could do in the hall, in the restaurant business.
[: [:Thank you so much. You know? But it was, I had to sit and I had to be, and I never realized until that moment how important it was to be rather than do and have, and it's more important because there's more of that energy and alignment with energy and self and universe and, and, and with the, with the vision that you have.
If your visions of energy is here and you're here, well you're not, it's never gonna align. And so that was magical around trusting and surrendering
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:So, the first one, and again, this is just simple, whatever comes to mind first is a great answer. Okay.
[: [: [:And then over time, he, like, he just, he just applied himself to everything he did. And then when he came here, built his own construction company and, and ran it. And yes, it had its challenges and it taught, has also taught me some stories I've had to rewire of how hard entrepreneurship is, and it doesn't have to be, but, but overall, he did that with maintaining his character, never changing that no matter how many times somebody did something dishonest with him or they like didn't pay him or this and that, like he kept his character of who he was as a human, as a, as a good man.
And that never changed. So, to see someone go through that much, adversity and still maintain a, just an absolute amazing character.
[: [: [: [: [: [:I used to put myself down at the lake where we used to live in the apartment and I would go to the lake and I would work staring at the lake cuz I want a lake house one day with a mountain view. So, I'd place myself there. A lot of nature and water, anything around water. But something that's really we talked about earlier was the meditation piece.
I've learned that when I, when I'm down on energy or any kind of lull in my day where I'm like pushing, I feel like I'm about to push myself. I just stop, take 20 minutes and I go do a quick, like clearing energy, whether it's just music, whether it's guided, whatever it is, and I feel like I took like a 10-hour sleep at night or something. It took 20 minutes and that really helps me.
[: [:And is this thought true? And so, I've done a lot of work on how in the moment I get to change that thought. So I was, had anxiety over, I mean I had anxiety or stress over something that happened at one of the campgrounds we were at. And I woke up one morning, like two days later and I was like, cuz these guys were harassing and stuff like that.
It was really weird. And I woke up and I was like, ugh. I was feel, I felt horrible and I just went, okay, hold on a second. How will this impact, how does this impacting, like how does this serve you? How does this impact the rest of your day? Like was this, and I stopped, I rethought, changed the thought, went in a different direction, felt differently, and then boom, I actually birthed the program from that day. I did a post about it and then a program came out and it was like amazing. And I'm like, ah. So.
[: [: [: [: [: [:And really more and more each day, like owning, like own you boo and own you I do, one of my very first sayings that I used to always say is like, get out of here. Get out of your head and into action. I have it on a t-shirt now. Because we get stuck in here so much and just really take the action that serves the, the vision that you desire.
And another one is like, I will no longer wait to live my Freedom Vision. I am living it in today and making money doing it.
[: [: [: [: [: [:So if you wanna get to know me, and it's funny when people meet me in person, I'm like, yeah, you're exactly the way you are on Facebook. Like there's no difference. What you see is what you get. And so come friend me on Facebook, if you're in that area, I am on LinkedIn and I am on Instagram, but my website, it's all on my website, which is Jackie Cote coaching.
So, jackiecotecoaching.com. And then everything's like Jackie Cote everywhere. So, you can look up on all those different platforms. I just recently got the website and a couple months ago and I just got LinkedIn a couple months ago and I just did Instagram. I've had for a while. But we have a love-hate relationship, but it's fun.
So, any of those platforms that you're into, I'm on now, but it wasn't until a couple months ago that I decided to go beyond and I've, I've built a magical business just on, and, and this is my word of wisdom. Really just own you and be you because you can build magic off of just being you.
[: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [: [:And my energy, which was pretty low at the beginning cuz it's in the evening, is like sky high.
[: [: [: [: [: [:Thank you so much for joining us today on Curiously Wise. If you enjoyed this episode, please be sure to subscribe so you don't miss future fabulous conversations. And if you had any ahas, please share them in a review on Apple Podcasts so we can continue to pay forward the unique wisdom we all have.
If you want to know more about me or my intuitive energy healing practice Heartlight Wellness, please head over to my website. www.heartlightjoy.com.
Curiously Wise is a team effort. I am grateful for the skill and enthusiasm. Arlene Membrot, our producer, and Sam Wittig, our audio engineer, bring to this collaboration. Our music is Where the Light Is by Lemon Music Studio.
I'm Laurin Wittig. Please join me again next week for another episode of Curiously Wise. From my heart to yours, may your life be filled with love, light, joy, and of course, curiosity.
