From Kundalini Awakening to Visionary Artist

Interview Episode with Mel Hofmann

Mel: [: 00:00:00

So, the background art came first. The animals or the other figures came in second, and then the titles and the numbers, and then the writing.

Laurin: Hello friends, and welcome to Curiously Wise. I'm Laurin Wittig, your host here today, and I have with me Mel Hoffman, who is, she's just such an interesting person. I'm, I'm really having fun getting to know her. Mel is a respected fine artist and established photographer and a mystic at heart.

in Oakland. Her life journey [: 00:01:00

She's well known for producing fine artwork and photography, which has strong emotional resonance. A lot of the stunning artwork and photos found layered throughout her deck of mystical medicine cards, originates from her collected work as a fine artist, and we're gonna talk a little bit about that today.

So welcome, Mel. I'm so happy to have you here with us today.

Mel: Oh, thank you. Yeah, I, I feel really fortunate to have met you before. It, it creates a different, different feeling.

Laurin: Yeah. Yeah, it does. It's, it's happened a few times. I just, for our listeners, I accidentally forgot to record our previous conversation. So, we're, we're reprising it here, but I, I, and I've done this a few times, I've fixed that problem, but I do find it changes, it changes the conversation a little bit cuz we know each other better. So.

Mel: [: 00:02:00

Laurin: So, see there's this silver lining of me being forgetful.

Mel: Absolutely. I agree.

Laurin: All right, so we're gonna talk about a lot of things, but the very first thing that I found on your, in your bio, on your website, I think it was is that you had a Kundalini awakening at a pretty early age, which can be traumatizing for some people and just plain difficult for, for others. But can you start by just telling us what a Kundalini awakening is, for those who may not know what that means?

ally upwards through all the [: 00:03:00

That's kind of the simple version of what happens, but As I said, it's, it's really, really different for different people. And what I experienced was energy that actually moved from the bottom of my feet, through the top of my head. And then there's also versions of Kundalini awakening that can result in descending energy.

People talk about the intent of Shakti. So, there's a lot of different aspects to it. And basically at least, at least for me, at age 16, I was doing an intensive yoga practice at the time. I actually didn't know what was happening to me because what I'd been told about Kundalini and what I was experiencing were not the same.

l hear voices, you will hear [: 00:04:00

And then also oh gosh, I, yeah, I had these experiences like after doing the yoga and the chanting practices, I would play on the floor in corpse pose, and I would find myself well, my body would become paralyzed. I'd become unable to speak, and then suddenly I would find myself like falling into this deep, dark space that I, at the time actually called the void.

And since then, I've heard other people talk about things related to the void, especially when it comes to like, near death experiences. But I didn't. I didn't really know much about that at that time in my life. I just knew that I was in this dark place falling, and it felt actually very peaceful and very gentle.

ifying. Like I, I tuned into [: 00:05:00

And I wasn't very good at the time about talking about things that were going on with me. I'd been raised in an environment where we really didn't talk about much of anything. And there were some pretty scary things that had happened in my childhood and, and they just weren't dealt with or spoken about.

So, I didn't really know how to do that. I didn't know how to communicate. And in my mind at the time, it was like, oh, well maybe if I move out and I stopped doing this yoga, I'll feel better. And so that's what I did. Ultimately, I just stayed there for nine months, my last year of high school.

Laurin: So, that was, that was a religious community or, I'm trying to remember from our last conversation that was a place you found yourself in.

had started taking Kundalini [: 00:06:00

a month at the time in: 1971

it up that it wasn't really [: 00:07:00

Laurin: Yeah, that's what it sounds like.

Mel: Yeah, so it was certainly the case for me and I think since I was so young, I was just, you know, wide, wide, wide open and I didn't really know how to, to turn it off. It was just like on.

Laurin: Yeah. So, what happened when you left there?

Mel: Well, let's see what happened when I left. I graduated high school a year earlier. I was also very anxious to get out of high school. I went to Berkeley High and so I took extra credits and I, I graduated and I went like on this sort of adventure on the road for, for a while hitchhiking when I was, you know, 16 years old, which is kinda ridiculous when I think about it.

that actually led to living [: 00:08:00

Laurin: So, had you always been interested in art or was that something that came later?

Mel: Yeah, it, it, it was something I was always interested in. Like I have a, a picture of myself in nursery school at the Easel. That was just my thing. I loved, I loved creativity, I loved doing all kinds of creative projects.

Laurin: Yeah. Yeah.

Mel: I was kinda a shy, introverted little girl. And I didn't I mean, I, I had friends, but I didn’t have like a whole bunch of friends, like one of my friends too.

Laurin: Yeah. Introverts unite, you know, by ourselves.

Mel: Like my idea of a, of a great day is oh, I love, I mean I love my friends. I do, it's important to me, but like a day in studio where I don't have anything else…

Laurin: Mm-hmm.

Mel: …to do. And of [: 00:09:00

Laurin: But isn't it lovely when you get those quiet times?

Mel: Yeah. Yeah, it really is. Absolutely.

Laurin: So, I know the last time we talked, you talked about how in Mexico you, your health kind of fell apart and…

Mel: Yeah. Oh.

Laurin: That was a turning point.

Mel: Right. I wanted to bring back just a tiny bit of the Kundalini and then I want to talk about that.

Laurin: Of course.

Mel: Basically, what I did was kind of shove that entire experience down and I didn't ever want it to happen again. But then about nine or 10 years ago, I went to someone for a healing session, reconnective healing session, and all of a sudden, I started having these spontaneous movement and vocal experiences that I later identified as, as Kundalini Kriyas.

big way, and it's been like [: 00:10:00

Laurin: Yeah.

Mel: Yeah.

Laurin: So, let's, let's just stick with that for a minute, cuz now I'm really curious. So, once that came back into your life, how has that, obviously, I think with age we just learned to be more grounded anyway, but how have you managed it so that it is useful to you and not overwhelming to you? And that might be, useful might not be the right word.

Mel: Partly a lot of therapy, and I'm so fortunate to find, have found a therapist who had a Kundalini awakening himself in his twenties. And so, once the Kriyas started it actually was just perfect to work with him because when he's working with me, he can actually tell like when one is coming.

Laurin: Hmm.

rauma that I had experienced [: 00:11:00

Laurin: Yeah. Cuz that stuff will stick with us if we don't work through it. If we don't process it, I call it and it's something I see all the time with my clients is that there's something that they have sort of jammed down into their body and not dealt with. And usually that's where pain or disease or something will manifest from.

But until we can bring it up, I call it bringing it into the light and look at it with the perspective of time and distance, then you get to like see what the wisdom of it is. But you can process enough to let the trauma go.

Mel: Yeah. Yeah. And that's really, honestly, almost like a full-time job.

Laurin: Yeah.

your life and requires a lot [: 00:12:00

So, anyway, and yeah, going back to Mexico so, you know, basically I flew down there, I got on a bus. I, I actually needed surgery almost immediately when I got to Mexico City. So that was, that was very distressing, a very distressing experience in itself. And the, the doctor that came to my hotel room, and then I went to the hospital the next day and it was very traumatizing.

And I was alone, you know, and I was, you know, 19 years old. So that happened when I first got there. And then when I moved to San Miguel de Allende, which is where the art school was, I found a place living with a couple who had just had a child. And lo and behold, the husband starts, you know, coming on to me and it's like, ah, you know, I don't wanna live in this kinda situation.

a man who was breaking into [: 00:13:00

And it was like, oh my god. You know, I mean, and then this guy shows up one day in my place pointing a gun at me, and it's like, it was, you know, it was just a terrifying experience. And that was, you know, one of the kind of things that has taken me years really to work through because it was just such a, such a horrible shock to my system.

And it was also something where he like dragged me outside onto the patio and put his gun down. And then I, I hear and I hear a knock on the door after he is finished. And a friend had come over, so he, he left, he climbed back over the wall he'd come through and we went directly to the police station.

, but I did later on I did a [: 00:14:00

And basically, after my friend showed up and the police didn't do anything, I moved in with her and then I started to get really sick and I was diagnosed with hepatitis. So, I had hepatitis A, I'm very, very ill. And then I just thought, well, I just need to go home. I need to get outta here. And that was a struggle because my paperwork wasn't up to date.

u just start taking insulin. [: 00:15:00

Laurin: Oh my gosh.

Mel: Kinda, I, I don't know. You know, some people talk about like the Shamonic initiation or whatever, and it really feels like that. It just feels like every piece of me that had had any shred of you know, self-esteem or whatever was just like obliterated. Yeah.

Laurin: Yeah.

Mel: Anyway, it's been, it's, you know, it's been a very, very long road. Yeah.

Laurin: Yeah. The fact that you can talk about it, you know, is means to me it feels like that means that you've worked through a lot of it. Cuz I don't think I could talk about it if I hadn't. That's I mean, the things women are put through is just heartbreaking. So.

up. It's still there, but it [: 00:16:00

Laurin: Yeah. Yeah. It's yeah, I, I don't think you get rid of any of those traumas completely, but you can disempower them to some degree.

Mel: Mm-hmm.

Laurin: And working through them. Yeah. Mm. Okay. So, let's go from there to, you went back to art school after that, didn't you?

Mel: I did.

Laurin: So, what, what, what motivated you to go back to art school at that point, and what did you do?

Mel: Okay. So, hmm. Yeah. Interesting. In my early thirties, I got involved with a man. His name was Steven Hofmann. And he was born with cerebral palsy. And honestly, when I first met him, I thought, it's not gonna work. But it, it ended up that we, we did end up together and, and I ended up getting pregnant, which had never happened before in my life.

then the third time was the [: 00:17:00

Laurin: Hmm.

Mel: Yeah. So, I ended up being in art school when I was pregnant and then after, after she was born. Mm-hmm.

Laurin: Yeah. So, part of your process I know is, is to journal.

Mel: Mm-hmm.

Laurin: For me, I'm a writer, so when I think of journaling, I think about, you know, actually writing. And I know you have some of that in your journals, but yours is really more of a visual journal the way you've described it to me in the past, and that was not something I was really aware of before I talked to you.

iner for an artist to have a [: 00:18:00

Mel: It does. In fact, when I was in art school, I was always encouraged to keep a journal and I didn't. I really wasn't much of a, a drawing person. I didn't really like the journal that much. I liked to work with you know, colors, patterns, textures, like I said, all those textile person. And but what happened was I somehow heard about this class at a local community college taught by a woman named Annie Danburg.

And at the time she was actually also going through her licensing to become a therapist. So, I ended up going back to the same campus, to the same college that I'd started at when I was, when I was 17. But here I am. I don't even know how many years ago that was, but I just found the whole process really powerful.

pages that are like double. [: 00:19:00

Laurin: Mm-hmm.

Mel: And working with collage and actually one of the things that she started us with was scribbling and I just took that to the, like the nth degree, scribbling all, all over the place.

Laurin: How freeing is that?

Mel: Yeah. And then these images put on the page are actually my photographs. I took them in Le Paz, Mexico. There was a, a vacant lot that had all these floats in it made out of paper mache or whatever.

So, there was, there was Poseidon. I don't even know what this creature is with all the different serpents, but this, this is the three-headed dog at the gates of hell basically. So, things like that, really working with the images in a way that was freeing. And actually, this is kind of a continuation of that one.

se this isn't gonna be video [: 00:20:00

The scribbling on the last one really was, it was just like spirals of scribbling. It was very cool, but it looked appropriate and it looked like it belonged there. So, it's just, it's very interesting. We will have this on YouTube, so eventually you can go and see all of that there. So, that's why I'm trying to describe it a little bit. And there you actually have the word freedom on a key with a lock.

Mel: Yeah. Well, this image over here is actually the underworld.

Laurin: Okay.

Mel: And…

Laurin: Is that the River Styx I'm looking at?

re. And then over here where [: 00:21:00

And for me, the muses like represent that whole creative process and how that's been so freeing for me.

Laurin: Yep.

Mel: So, that's, that's an example. And then some of the work is just very, very abstract. So, I'm just working with the colors, the watercolor pencils. I use a lot of what's called bleeding tissue paper. And then I also use a printmaking process where I put the bleeding tissue paper on one page with glue, and then I close the journal to create a print.

Laurin: Oh, neat.

Mel: And that's, that's often why I'm, I'm working with those double images cause I'm actually creating a print.

Laurin: I love the, the image on the right-hand side of the one you just showed us, cuz it, it looked, it reminded me of how you were describing the Kundalini energy.

Mel: Right. And that's actually part of what was coming up in that too.

n: Yeah. So, it's very nice. [: 00:22:00

So, how did you come to, first of all, how'd you come to create a card deck at all? How, how were you inspired to do that?

while, was this West African [: 00:23:00

I had been referred to a man over in Marin County who had spent a lot of time in Africa and learned this stick divination technique from the Dara tribe. Anyway, so, I did a divination with him once where he uses this stick and a pile of objects, like to consult with the spirits and the ancestors, and basically the spirits were saying I needed to create the stick.

Laurin: Hmm.

Mel: So, he gave me that assignment. And at the time he gave that to me, I had never thought of doing such thing. But it's interesting because compared to all the other things that I've done, it's been the work that's touched the most people.

Laurin: Hmm.

ho are using it. But I guess [: 00:24:00

Laurin: Yeah. They hire an artist.

Mel: Right. So, they like hire an, an artist to illustrate it. Whereas with mine, I basically created the art and then I put the titles on, and then there was a process of the background art is from the journal pages and then the animals are my photography, which I combined using Photoshop.

So, the background art came first. The animals or the other figures came in second, and then the titles and the numbers, and then the writing.

ist, you get to do the whole [: 00:25:00

Mel: It is cool. And yeah, the writing was actually kind of scary for me cause it's like, oh, I'm not a writer.

Laurin: Yeah.

Mel: I did saw the like, just kind of basic framework for the messages. And a friend who is a writer actually thought it was very good.

Laurin: Yeah.

Mel: I was happy about that.

Laurin: Well, cuz you were probably being, you know, spirit led through all of that too.

Mel: Yeah. I lately there've been some like, amazing stories about the cards that, yeah, there was somebody who drew one on my site and sent me a message like, will you please send me the message for this card? And it's a card called Guides, and it has two guides on it, and then it has the butterfly.

And I sent her the message and it, you know, it turns out that that's like her name, like her spirit name is Butterfly. And it just really resonated for her. And that's out of 54 cards. She got that card. And then the message that I sent her enhanced the experience.

Laurin: Right.

ck. And then she went to the [: 00:26:00

And then she went in the house to look at the deck and she drew the card, the deck called Fortune that has grasshoppers on it and message about grasshoppers. It's like, okay, so these cards really have some sort of energy or magic to them that I don't, I can't even explain. I don't really…

Laurin: But the fact for me, the fact that you were led to them by this Diviner and then it, it all just kind of came together with art you had already created really, it's just taking each layer of your work and putting it together in a way. And then your energy is so beautiful that it's just, I mean, yeah, it's, it's gotta be a magical deck. So, yeah. So, what's the name of the deck?

Mel: They're [: 00:27:00

Laurin: Yeah. Wow. Yeah. So, you clearly have an affinity for the natural world. I mean, it just, it, it feels like I've seen, I've only seen a little bit of your art on your website, but it just feels very organic and very almost like I've seen indigenous art, you know, so it's very symbolic and very earthy and very pattern and color like you're talking about. So, it's very interpretable.

Mel: It's not, it's not like illustration. It's not really representational.

Laurin: Right.

that are brought in as well, [: 00:28:00

Laurin: Mm-hmm.

Mel: World and a couple of humans, and man, and then also some plants. But I would say the animal world is the most.

Laurin: Where your photography goes, I mean, that's…

Mel: Yeah, right.

Laurin: I'm always fascinated about how creative projects come together.

Mel: Mm-hmm.

Laurin: I know my process, but everybody's got their own process for pulling together whatever their creative work is and whether it's, you know, making dinner or creating a card deck or whatever else.

And I love how you have, you, you've brought every piece of your work into it because you've got the backgrounds, you've used the journaling art you've done, you've used the collaging and you've used the natural world that you work in and you live in. And so, I just, I always find that really, I think it's really good for people to see how different people create different things. Cuz there's no one right way to be creative.

ne-month cycle, three, three [: 00:29:00

Laurin: Yeah. And that's something that's been coming through for me lately, is that creativity is part of the, the divine feminine energy. And I mean, women are, we are the ultimate creators of human life, you know, so it makes sense that it's part of the divine feminine, but it's bringing that into the world in your way, in your expression of it.

And not getting hung up on the right way to do it, or the marketable way to do it or the, are people gonna think I'm, you know, no good, or just do it. Just do it. Just get out there and make something. And look what's come from your years of different, different ways of expressing your art. I just, I love it.

e of your fabric art and you [: 00:30:00

Mel: Yeah, actually well, I'm wearing a piece that I made a long time ago. This is one of my screen prints that I did, and then I saw the, a vest out of it. Actually, with the new line, it's not my textile work, it's my paintings. And so, what I did, there's a, a couple in the back behind me in the background these 36 by 36 mixed media paintings that I actually incorporated some of my textile work into.

So, it, it is part, part textile and part painting. But what I did was I uploaded the images on the site and they actually put them on these different styles of clothing.

Laurin: Yeah, you sent me the link and I went and looked at it and it's beautiful. I mean, it is, it is wearable art, you know?

when I was doing the screen [: 00:31:00

And, and I like that because the kind of labor that's involved in, in doing that kind of printing is significant. It really is. And in some ways, there's no way that you could ever be repaid for it. So, using an image and then putting it on something that you can make more than one of is a really brilliant idea.

Laurin: Yeah, and it allows for, it brings your art to a different price point too, so that it's, it's more accessible for more people. Which I love, you know, I remember in college having fine art posters, couldn't afford art that I could have a picture of Van Gogh Starry Night, you know, that kind of thing.

ces were that you've, you've [: 00:32:00

So, you'll be able to find Mel and her beautiful work very easily. We haven't even really talked about your photography. Other than as collage parts, but you do beautiful wildlife photography and birds are one of my thing. And so, I've really, I really enjoyed I on your website, you've got some of hummingbirds and, and you've got a burrowing owl.

And I was like, oh, I need that. I have owls in my office, so...

Mel: Well, the fun thing now about this new site that I have is that you can purchase those items as prints so that you can make a choice. You can have a print on wrap canvas. You can have one on metal, you can have all the paper, or you can buy a mug, or you can buy a tote bag or you can whatever. So, it's not just limited to originals.

rse the photography, I mean, [: 00:33:00

Laurin: Right. Yeah. That's, they're easy to duplicate. Yeah. So, yeah, I just wanted to bring that up too because I really, I, I'm at my happiest in nature

Mel: Mm.

Laurin: I'm a birder, I had both a father and a mother-in-law who were big birders. So, I've, I've always been very tuned into the birds around me. And so, I, whenever you get those beautiful pictures of things like hummingbird, which are not that easy to photograph, I really respect the work that goes into that and the patience.

Mel: It is a lot of patience and it's a lot of trial and error really, honestly. And we've been really fortunate to have over the 18 years that we've lived in this house, to have four nests. Four hummingbird nests in the back.

, I just thought, oh my God. [: 00:34:00

Laurin: Right in front of you. Yeah. Well, there's a lesson in, you know, don't just always look in one direction. Right. It's might not be where you expect it to be. Okay, I thank you for sharing your journey with us and your, and your process and your art, cuz it's really, it, it makes my day to see beautiful things and, and you create a lot of beautiful things.

So, let's, let's turn to the rapid-fire questions. They're just for fun. And I'm gonna ask you, and, and I know that I asked you these in the conversation, I forgot to record. Doesn't have to be the same answer, okay?

Mel: Because I'll probably have a different answer.

Laurin: Yeah. That's the idea. So, who is or was the wisest person in your life?

time. And really honestly, I [: 00:35:00

That, that just, I don't know. I, she is a very emotionally wise person. And then my wife is very wise about things that I'm not.

Laurin: That's always good in a spouse.

Mel: Like she knows how to save and plan.

Laurin: Uhhuh, I have a husband who's good at that, cuz I'm not. It's great.

Mel: Yeah.

Laurin: Yep. Okay. So, what's your favorite self-care practice?

it's partly because it's so [: 00:36:00

Laurin: Yeah, that's, I love, I love receiving. I get, you know, I mostly, I, I get to give people those energy healing sessions, but I still see healers because it is, it is a different kind of quiet, I wanna call it in the body.

Mel: Right. And actually as, as a energy healing practitioner. I, it's not like I have, you know, full practice doing that or anything cuz otherwise I wouldn't have any time to do art. But I love doing it just because it's so it's so uplifting and for some reason I'm able to make contact like with spirit guides or energies that are important for the person to be able to work with.

Laurin: Yeah. That's, I, I get a lot of messages from their guides and…

Mel: Right.

selves and stuff. Okay. What [: 00:37:00

Mel: That's a good question. I definitely more and more as I get older, it's my friendships. That's the relationships that I have with other connections that I have. Yeah, they're really exciting and the, and of course the creative expression and being able to share that with other people actually.

Laurin: Yeah. I just thought of something that I usually talk about when I'm talking about creativity. I'm gonna just drop it in here. Do you experience a flow state when you're working with, say, a painting or any of your projects?

Mel: Absolutely. Yeah. It's kind of like working with clients. There's a sort of high, almost that occurs like a natural high.

Laurin: Yeah. Okay. Does it, is it something you have to consciously cultivate or do you just kind of arrive at it?

I don't, that's never really [: 00:38:00

Laurin: Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah, I love when I do get into flow state, it's just a beautiful, peaceful, creative place to be. All right. And then do you have a favorite mantra or affirmation?

Mel: Yeah. The word mantra is still after even all these years.

Laurin: That's why I do both.

Mel: Yeah.

Laurin: Cause they are different.

Mel: They're very different. It's like mantra? No.

Laurin: Don't go there.

ived all that, and I'm still [: 00:39:00

Laurin: Yeah. And, and do you find that looking back, that you are stronger because of what you survived?

Mel: I'm sure I am, but if somebody asked me to do it again. I would say, no thanks.

Laurin: Oh yeah. I have, I have things where I go, I don't know why I chose to have that as a part of my life experience. I don't wanna do that again. Yeah. I learned a lot. Don't wanna do that again. But.

Yeah, I find that I like who I am today and I am who I am because of some of those difficult things in my life. But and I, I think that perspective is something that's come just in the last few years for me. I mean, I'm 62, so there's, there's definitely a, a post-menopausal wisdom that happens, I think.

That's a, I just, I'm fascinated by that too. I'm, I get curious about lots of things. All right. So, tell the listeners, viewers, where they can find you online.

o my main website is my name [: 00:40:00

Laurin: Yeah, I will.

Mel: It'll be easier to find. And I'm currently working on expanding the fine art aspect of it to a certain extent. So, there's going to be some new things coming soon.

Laurin: Good. And if they go to your website and sign up for your newsletter, they can get a what? A 20% discount for a print?

Mel: Right. Yes. 20% discount on prints. That does not apply to the cards. Just because it's impractical.

Laurin: I think that brings us to me saying thank you for being here, and I appreciate you coming back to have this conversation again.

Mel: Sure.

Laurin: It was a little different.

to think in a different way. [: 00:41:00

Laurin: Good. Yeah, that's, I think that's where curiosity takes you, is into a place where you can think in a different way or see from a different perspective. And that's one of my goals these days in life is to, to expand my horizons. And so, thank you for, for validating that for me.

Mel: Sure. And I actually did wanna add one thing, and that is if you do go to my website, there is a feature where you can do a screenshot reading, and if you send me a message, I will give you more information about the card.

Laurin: Great. Okay, so it's like you can get a one card reading and, and all of that's on her website. So, you'll have the links below in the show notes. Well, thank you so much for being here with us today. I hope everyone has really enjoyed this conversation and, and maybe has inspired to be creative in whatever way wants to come through you. And thank you so much for being here, Mel.

Mel: Thank you Laurin.

Laurin: See you next time. We're here every Tuesday. Come back next week for another great conversation. Stay curious.

[: 00:42:00

If you want to know more about me or my intuitive energy healing practice, Heartlight Wellness, please head over to my website www.heartlightjoy.com.

Curiously Wise is a team effort. I am grateful for the skill and enthusiasm Arlene Membrot, our producer, and Sam Wittig, our audio engineer, bring to this collaboration. Our music is Where the Light Is by Lemon Music Studio.

ith love, light, joy, and of [: 00:43:00