The Life Altering Magic of Just Showing Up with Laurin Wittig

Laurin: [: 00:00:00

It was a room full of women who were all excited about writing. I had again landed in the right place and it became. The foundation of my writing career that one time of showing up for myself without anybody expecting me there

showing up and the power of [: 00:01:00

I keep seeing it. I keep hearing it. I keep reading it. And so I just wanted to share this with you today, and I don't want to take a lot of time with this, but because it's showing up so much, I'm paying attention and that's, that's the way I roll. So I just want to share a little bit about, as I think about showing up, why I don't show up.

Because for me, I'm an introvert. It's way easier to not show up for something than it is to show up for something, especially if it's something new or something that is. Within crowds of people. I don't really like being in crowds of people. I don't like the noise. I don't like the chaos. I don't like the often the energy depends on sort of why you're there.

And so. [: 00:02:00

So I started thinking about, you know, what I liked to do to move my body when I was younger. And I loved dancing. I was a square dancer. Yes, nerd here. And I, I loved that. I took tap and ballet for years. I was a klutz, so I wasn't that good at it, but I enjoyed it. And I thought, Oh, it would be fun to dance.

now, you should come to the, [: 00:03:00

You don't need a partner and there's teachers. So they teach you how to do it. And it's, it's just nice. You know, it's a nice social thing. It's right here in the neighborhood. So I went. And I went because I told her I was going to go, which is one of my ways of showing up. Making sure I show up is to tell somebody I'm going to be there because then I know they're expecting me and I show up when I'm expected.

I just, I do. So I started doing that and I love it. And my friend. Was going through a bunch of issues, selling a house and buying a new house and moving and traveling. She hasn't been there in quite a while, but I go almost every week to this class because I enjoy it and I'm starting to, you know, people recognize me and I'm, I've started to having, you know, conversations with same two or three people a couple of times.

into my life is to. To think [: 00:04:00

I didn't really know that. I don't think we had labeled it that when I was in college, but my senior year, I was really having a hard time. I was very depressed. I didn't really understand what was going on with my parents. I knew the drinking was an issue, but I didn't, I didn't really equate that with alcoholism yet.

ow much about AA or Al Anon, [: 00:05:00

And I remember going straight from, Ooh, yeah, this is a hard one going straight from my mailbox. Over to the administration building upstairs to the floor that the Dean's office was on. I'd never been in that building the whole time I'd been in school. And I remember having to stop near a window close to the Dean's office, but I hadn't actually gotten there.

There were no other, I don't remember there being other offices along there. There was a big window and it was deep. So it was kind of like you could sit there in the window. And I remember sitting there for about 15 minutes. Debating whether I wanted to do this or not, whether I wanted to go and say, you know, and get the information and really admit that my dad had a drinking problem and somehow it was affecting me that I didn't understand.

And I [: 00:06:00

Yeah. So Mike still chokes me up, but it felt like I had landed where I was supposed to be because there were plenty of people who could talk and who did. And I started to recognize a similar experience. So this is a good overlap with the reason why I like circles so much, especially for me, women's circles, but this was a mixed group.

the room where it was a lot [: 00:07:00

And and because I had a friend there and because the Dean was expecting me, I kept showing up. I think it was probably four meetings. It was once a week before I could even say my name. But I kept showing up and I kept showing up and I kept showing up

and I learned a lot and I became more aware of what work I needed to do for myself. But I also became able to what's called 12th step my dad which is to say, dad, I know you're an alcoholic. And at the time I had already talked with my mom and my brother and the three of us had a plan to ask him to go get help.

t. But I was the one who was [: 00:08:00

And it changed my life and it changed my father's life and it changed, I think it changed my mom's life and my brother's life, but I don't know for sure, but I know it changed mine and I know it changed his because he did the work. He showed up for himself and he showed up for me and got dry. And sober and was 20 years sober when he died.

So I'm very proud of him for that.

reader my whole life, still [: 00:09:00

I like to read as I go to bed and I just couldn't believe how bad this book was. I don't remember what it was. I, and, but it just, it was terribly written. It was poorly edited. It was just awful bad enough that I didn't read the whole thing. And that's saying something. Cause I'll usually, I'll usually keep going.

Even if it's, I'm not, I'm not really liking it. I sort of have this. I want to finish it kind of attitude. And. Sometimes that pays off because things get better. But my husband says to me, well, why don't you just write your own book? Well, fast forward a number of years where I had, I'd started to explore that a bit, but I hadn't really committed to it.

took me a long time to kind [: 00:10:00

I, I, I just finally, I quit working outside the home and stayed home with the kids. And I. I knew that I was going to have to do something to keep my brain busy. And so that's when I really sort of committed to it, told my husband that I was going to have to find some courses, some, some ways to keep my brain busy in, you know, and functioning with two small children.

time to really commit to the [: 00:11:00

And My son then started Montessori school for half a day. That was when I finally realized I have three hours every, you know, five days a week where I can do what I want to for myself and what I want to do is learn how to write a book. I want to write a book. And so I really dove into it at that point.

And the universe provides because I stumbled across this meeting for Washington romance writers, it was a a local chapter for romance writers of America. And I had decided I wanted to write a romance novel. I'd read a bunch and I, I really liked them and I thought that would be good. I'd do that.

lurb that they had a monthly [: 00:12:00

I really hesitated. I almost didn't go. In fact, I think maybe the first one I didn't go. I just couldn't bring myself to, but the second one was I think there was an author presenting at it that I knew. And so I thought, okay, I could at least meet, you know, just kind of hear this and, and, and maybe, maybe, okay.

My curiosity was strong enough about this author that I I sucked it up and I got myself there and I sat sort of near the back and you know, at one point , at the beginning they're saying, is this his first time for anybody? And I, you know, like very hesitantly raised my arm and they were very welcoming.

f women who were all excited [: 00:13:00

Published author being presenting something. And I will tell you that author turned out to be Janet Evanovich and it was before she'd really hit big. But it was, I look back on that and go, wow, that was, that was definitely the right time to go and get involved because it showed me that this group had some powerful women in it who knew what the heck they were doing.

I met friends through that group. I ended up in, I think two or three different critique groups, which is where you gather with a few other writers regularly and you share your work and you help each other see where you can fix it and where there's problems and where this is really good, that kind of stuff.

It's not [: 00:14:00

And I went on to sell my first book that that critique group helped me write, helped me. You know, polish and clean up. And I never would have gotten there. I know I never would have gotten there if I hadn't shown up for that meeting. Very intimidating place. I wasn't even used to saying I want to be a writer, but I showed up and I kept showing up and I showed up [00:15:00] for me and then I made friends and I showed up because I knew they would be there and that would be comforting.

I showed up. By joining the board a couple of different times as a, in a leadership position. That was something I'd heard of for me. So I, and I learned a lot about the business. So when I did sell, I knew what to do. And I had, if I had questions, I knew there were people I could ask. So all of that came out of just showing up.

It took, it took a few years, took quite a few years, but I got there. And it would not have happened without that group. So that's, that's just two times in my life where showing up for myself ended up changing the course of my life. And I also want to say with that critique group that five of the six of us were published because we were working with that critique group.

showing up for that critique [: 00:16:00

And I think that's a lot of what happens when we show up for ourselves. We do end up showing up for others, whether it's showing up for our kids as a, a great example of what happens if you follow your passions, even when it's scary of taking care of ourselves, of. Just being present for others, sharing what we know, what we feel , when it's asked for or when it is, feels right.

a solo podcast, which I find [: 00:17:00

Maybe you could bring more joy into your life. Maybe you could bring more health into your life. Maybe you could bring new friends into your life if you just show up.

I hope this helps. I hope this is meaningful and I hope you'll join me next time on Curiously Wise. If you want to know more information about me and the work that I do you can go to my website, heartlightjoy.com. You can also find me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn, and I'll have links to all of those in the show notes.

ll. If you want to just call [: 00:18:00

So you have a wonderful day. Thank you for showing up and listening to this podcast. And I hope I'll see you next time on curiously wise.

spired and curious about the [: 00:19:00

It helps us be found by others. If you're curious to learn more about me or my healing practice, Heartlight Wellness, head over to my website at heartlightjoy.com. Until next time, I'm Laurin Wittig. Stay curious.